
It’s been a very long week, and it’s only Tuesday. Last week was Thanksgiving weekend and we visited
Durham, NC to be with family and friends for the holiday.
One of the friends that I intended to see was my dear friend
Nando. I have known
Nando since 1965 when I lived in
Panama. And with the exception of about 10 years when I went to college and graduate school, I have been in
ver
y close proximity to him, his wives and daughters. Of course, once you are married and have jobs, getting together gets a little more challenging, but we kept in touch with each other regularly, if not at our homes, then in parks, beaches, restaurants, and our “guys” vacation when we managed to get together with our third “partner-in-crime” Rafa, and go off traveling, camping and fishing in the countryside of Panama and Costa Rica. We have done this at least three times in the last 10 years and had been planning to have our next outing, with the wives this time, for carnival 2008 in Panama. I could really go on and on about how our lives have been intertwine in so many ways.
Everyday that I was in Durham, I tried to reach
Nando, but his cellphone sounded disconnected, his home number went unanswered. Finally an employee of his restaurant informed me that
Nando had not shown up for work since returning from a vacation trip to London, UK and she thought that
Nando was ill somewhere. I called the three major hospitals in the area and was relieved when neither of them recognized his full name. Just as B and I were getting ready to return home on Saturday morning, I received a call from
Nando’s wife who told me that
Nando was indeed at
Durham Regional Hospital in Durham. She told me that he was not doing well, that after their arrival from the UK he had been admitted to the hospital but she wanted
Nando to be the one to tell me what the doctors were speculating about his ailment.
I remembered that three days before their UK trip, a little over two weeks ago,
Nando had called me to explain why he
hadn’t returned my calls from the previous week, and about his plans for their upcoming trip. The week before, he had several episodes of a very terrible
gastric-reflux or indigestion. He also mentioned that he had been feeling weak with a lot of muscle soreness. To the point that he
didn’t have the strength to pick up the phone to speak. A couple of days of that previous week, he had come home from the restaurant after the lunch rush hour, and plopped in bed “until the next morning”. He explained that his doctor
couldn’t figure out what could have been going on. And that after several tests, they had found
H. pilori in his stomach and had started treatment with an antibiotic. It all seemed confusing and not well defined at the time, however
Nando sounded optimistic with the promise that once the H.
pilori had been “knocked down”, he would start feeling better. At least good enough to travel to the UK in just 4 days. Something else that I
didn’t know was that during the week prior to their UK trip, he had undergone a couple of
endoscopic tests. Neither test shed new light on the matter, but there was the issue of some “pink coloration” on the wall of the stomach, but this could have been explained by the amount and type of medications
Nando had been taking to help with the heartburn, the sore muscles and the tiredness.
I left immediately to the hospital for a brief visit. Thinking of what I would like to receive if I was in a hospital for a week, naively I decided to stop along the way to pick up some magazines on topics that would be of interest to him. Little did I know that on a hospital bed, you are in no condition to be reading or even flipping through the pages of a magazine. The door to Room 7113 was closed. I knocked and opened the door. I saw his wife and eldest daughter sitting and they offered a welcome smile. Then I saw him laying on his hospital bed surrounded by pillows and with the TV on although he seemed to be sleeping. He had several IV lines dripping to his left hand, and had some soaked gauze pads where his blood had continued to leak after the many blood draws of the day.
It turned out that he was awake. He
hadn’t been able to sleep well in the last two weeks. And even eating had been a struggle for him after the
heartburns of three weeks ago. He opened his eyes when he heard my voice; however his facial expression remained the same. He was so weak, that he
couldn’t speak and maintain eye contact at the same time. He spoke with his eyes closed. I could barely understand him. But he made several points that showed me that he was completely lucid and well aware of his surroundings. He seemed to be very interested in his “numbers”. The numbers referred to his blood chemistry results. The first blood test after being admitted on Monday, indicated that his blood chemistry was “all out of whack”.
His wife was telling me about the different ideas the doctors now had. First they proposed mononucleosis, then hepatitis, then
Nando interrupted with “
sickle-cell anemia”. “So, what is it now?” I asked. She asked
Nando for his permission and he nodded for her to continue. She could barely contain her tears when she said “leukemia”. The words resonated
heavily in the room. I caught myself starting an “Oh my God” reaction, and quickly changed my tone to question instead the evidence for that diagnosis. Apparently Tuesday's
Bone Marrow Test had shown indication of leukemia although they were still waiting to see which
type of leukemia and hoping and praying that it was the more benign and treatable one.
The nurse walks in and breaks through the tenseness.
Nando asked her about the results of his latest blood chemistry analysis. She said something like “platelets are at fourteen hundred” although I’m sure she meant to say “fourteen thousand”. In any event, just a few hours earlier they had been searching the Internet for leukemia blood chemistry numbers where it mentioned that platelet numbers
below 20,000 would be very dangerous. You could tell in
Nando’s face that the 14,000 number was something to worry about. A moment later, she walks in again and mentioned that she
wasn’t sure about those numbers, nor whether today’s tests were already analyzed. Nevertheless, the damage was already done.
I talked quietly with his wife for a few minutes and we noticed that
Nando had fallen asleep with the noise of our voices. He woke up after about 20 minutes and remarked that he had been able to sleep a little and smiled. We celebrated his accomplishment.
Minutes later a nurse walks in announcing that a new, bigger, private room had been arranged for him and that we could start moving whenever we were ready to.
Nando’s legs were swollen to the point that to the touch they seemed to be ready to burst and we joked that he had always wanted to have “big legs”. It could have been funny at some other point in our lives, but this time it
didn’t face him. Apparently the Sodium from some of the liquids being pumped through his veins, had caused him to swell and the doctor asked to have them replaced to help him return to a normal size. As we were getting ready to move him, we started picking up a few personal items from the room and then
Nando asked for help to sit down on the bed. His legs were so heavy, and he was so weak, that it required our help to move him. One of the last things he told me, was that it was OK for me to touch his swollen legs. Almost like saying, this body is not mine anymore, my personal space is no longer enforceable.
He could have been moved by bed but the option of moving him by wheelchair gave me the feeling that
Nando was going to be alright after this. After getting the legs on the floor, he actually stood on his own and turned around to sit on the chair. The nurse pushed him, and alongside I carried the rolling pole with the IV bags still connected to his arm. Once in Room 5327, we reversed the process and helped him move his legs in position on his bed once again.
After a few minutes, I sensed that my presence there could be causing a little anxiety since
Nando may have felt the need to entertain me. I reassured him that he
didn’t need to worry about me, that I was happy to get the full story from his wife, but still I could sense that he was already feeling even more tired than before. So I prepared to say my goodbyes to the women in the room and then I turned to
Nando and told him that I’d be waiting for him to play some
basketball or at least a game of chess when he got home. He
didn’t reciprocate the jokes, but I never thought that when he opened his eyes to say farewell, it was going to be our last goodbye.
The next day, around 3 in the afternoon, already at home at the beach, I received the terrible news from his wife: a nurse checking his vital signs, tried to wake him up around 3AM that Sunday, and found him unresponsive. He was rushed to get an CT Scan and then to the
ICU. They found that
Nando had internal bleeding in the cranial cavity and had gone into a comma. She said that the doctors gave him little chance but she was hoping for a miracle.
We arrived around 9PM and went directly to the ICU. Amazingly they allowed us in and I went to see the
Nando I was going to see for the next couple of days. High tech instruments all around him. Tubes coming out of his mouth. Several IV lines pumping liquids into his veins. Several “drip” tubes to collect the draining from his skull. And the worse was the sight of his chest moving up and down as the air from the artificial lung pumped air in and out. This was definitely a turn for the worse. I was stunned of what I saw and was petrified for the first few minutes there. We tried to talk to him as normal as was possible. His wife mentioned that she had heard that the hearing was the last thing that died, so we wanted to sound optimistic for a hopeful outcome.
The scene of us and other family and friends going in and out of the ICU was repeated over and over for the next two days.
This morning, the hospital called his home and explained that
Nando’s blood pressure was
dropping and that they would not be able to keep him in the ICU beyond a certain point. We all rushed to the hospital and paid our individual visits and said our goodbyes. His blood pressure continued to steadily drop slowly during the day and around noon, his blood
pressure dropped to the point that his heart stopped beating on its own.

Goodbye my friend and soul brother. Your life was brief but full. You touched so many of us, and we will never forget you. Go in peace.