The 26th of January the Miami family celebrated my
father’s 90th birthday. It
was a few days before his actual birth date of 9-Feb, but my sister was leaving the
next Tuesday and I was leaving to Mexico on the 7th of February. We didn’t think much of it as our father seemed
to be doing well with no health concerns.
We took him to Sergio’s on Coral Way, a Cuban restaurant that was
convenient to most. About 20 people came
out, including two of his four grand kids and 2 of his 5 great-grandsons. There were also a niece and other relatives
that have immigrated from Cuba in the last few years. It was a joyous moment. We took group photos, we sang the birthday
song and had a great meal.
About two weeks later on Valentine’s day, he complaint of a
pain near his groin. It seemed to be a hernia
but to confirm, he was taken to the hospital for an MRI. The MRI showed the hernia, but it also showed
an aneurysm developing in the abdominal aorta (abdominal aortic aneurysm or triple As) which if not treated could burst at
any minute. The phone calls came in, my
sister returned and I was already on my way back from Mexico that Monday so I
asked to go ahead with what needed to be done and to keep me informed during my
return travel. Upon my arrival in Miami I
saw the videos of the family’s discussions with the surgeon where he was
suggesting to do a less-invasive procedure, since given his age, the more
involved procedure could put him at great risk.
By the time I made it to Mercy Hospital that Monday 17-Feb 2020, the (simpler)
procedure was done and my father woke up in good spirits. A couple of days of observation and he was
back home on Thursday the 20th.
It didn’t last long.
On the 23th my Dad went back to Mercy Hospital helped by
Erick and my mother. He looked pale and stressed
out. Several studies later, the surgeon
and his head doctor were debating how long to wait to give my Dad a better chance
to recover before another surgery. On
the 27th things took a turn for the worse and he seemed to be at the
brink of losing the battle. I was in
Mexico again and expedited my return flight as the phone call said, if you want
to see your Dad alive, you need to head back right away. The doctors ordered a couple of pints of
blood transfusion and by the time I made it back on Friday the 28th,
he had made a huge improvement.
By that time, the decision was whether to go for the more
invasive surgery or wait for him to recover before attempting any additional
procedures. His condition was really too
weak to attempt the former so we made arrangements for him to go home and wait
it out for a few weeks until he felt stronger.
It turned out that I had been able to visit him at the hospital the Friday
that I returned but by Sunday, I was already aware that I was not all
well. The talk at the time was that
there was a Corona Virus migrating from Asia to America and it was a deadly
virus. At the time there were no tests
to confirm exposure to COVID-19 but because I had been in international
flights, and to be overly cautious, I decided to stay home for the next two
days with chills and body aches. I felt
better by Wednesday 4-March, but not good enough to visit my Dad at the hospital
for fear of contaminating others with whatever this was.
I finally was able to see him back at home on
Friday the 6th. My Mother had brought him home under the care
of VITAS’ hospice care and under strict DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) rules. The family was very concerned that unless he
pulled a huge improvement, we may be seeing the last of him.
All the last few days at the hospital he had remained lucid
and thinking clearly, however he had spent about 20-22 hours of his days sleeping. I know he recognized all of us
and we were able to communicate a few words here and there. He had been hard of hearing in the last few
years, so our communications had been limited and brief.
On Saturday the 7th, we spent the
whole day with him but as it started to get dark, I thought that I should not
be out and about so B and I headed home.
About 30 minutes later, as I was about to enter the elevator at home, my sister called that our Dad had taken his last breath. I went back immediately to be with them and to do what I could as the funeral home took his body just short of midnight. Funeral arrangements and the actual burial happened in the next few days, with concerns of keeping the groups to a minimum and learning the notion of 'social distancing' as the world fought the COVID-19 virus.
He accompanied me in this life for almost 63 years. He was a decent man. A loving father. And passed away at his home surrounded by
loved ones. Like my son Erick said at
his memorial, “My grandfather died like a king.
At his home, under the complete care of his wife of 64 years of marriage
and surrounded by his children and grandchildren”. I have to agree with him, we would be
ungrateful if we complaint on how he died.
Now to face my remaining life without his presence and constant
expressions of love. He will be missed.
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